ottiliaslife

This complex thing. Oh, how it can affect you! Being a human, and a woman it is something I am aware of almost every waking hour and even in my dreams.  Some people say women can affect attraction no more than they can manipulate with their looks. When I hear this I feal doomed, judged and with no power over how I am to be perceived. Then I get angry with myself, who are they to comprehend me? I know better! I've experienced it myself and I've seen others affect their surroundings using a splendid personality and mediocre looks. How a girl who is far from the hottest babe in the club get far more attention than anyone else.. But attention isn't everything, however it is important to remember I'm capable of seduce with something but looks. That my personality matters.

However unimportant I'm often aware of what reactions my body, my face, my hair create. How I feel in my body. Some days, I feel gloomy, chubby and I am anything but satisfied with my limbs. Other mornings I wake up and adore the feeling of my skin against the cold air, I stretch and yawn and when I look in the mirror I think "Godmorning beautiful."

The best days though, are the ones when I feel neither of that. When I'm plain. Not ugly, not pretty; just plain. When I pull on an old sweatshirt an comfy jeans. When I wear no makeup and my hair in a boring ponytail. When I hide under an ugly hat and inside a big jacket. When I'm not seen by anyone. When I see no reaction at all in the faces walking by. When I feel confident that any person I speak with will remember me from what I say if they'll remember me at all.
Those days I feel content.